The Second Time Around
As I am now immersed in the second trimester of my pregnancy, I am beginning to recognize that although there are similarities with my first, there are also some notable differences.
Again I have been blessed by the morning sickness gods and didn't suffer any nausea, for this I am very grateful as I have no doubt that it would have been doubly as hard with a toddler in tow.
This pregnancy is flying by, and although I still spend time looking over pregnancy apps and informing my husband what size fruit or vegetable bubba is resembling this week, I just don't have the time to commit to preggie things that I may have done when I was pregnant with Hunter.
Is it because I have done it all before, or is life to busy with commitments and responsibilities already? Is it because it still hasn't really sunk in that in 6 months there will be another little one to look after?
I am still nervous before every check up or scan, and still worry that everything is progressing ok but I am really trying to adopt a more relaxed attitude with this pregnancy.
There were several health concerns for both myself and Hunter during my previous pregnancy and his short 2 years on earth, with 99% of them turning out to be nothing. The moral of the story, there really isn't a way to change the outcome but you can change the way you perceive and respond to the events.
Any Mother or Mother-to-be will be guaranteed to have some doubt or concerns over their little ones, that is simply human nature. The second time round however, some concerns are inherently different. The first and foremost being, how do I spread myself and my love across two children? Any mother of multiple children often laugh when this questions is posed, and answer that 'your heart simply gets bigger'. I like this idea.
I still can't help but be sad that my one-on-one time with Hunter is drawing to a close, and that obviously the newborn will take up a larger portion of my time and attention initially. The important thing is to involve him as much as possible, and make sure that there is plenty of special time with him when the baby is asleep or otherwise preoccupied.
I openly admit I struggled with the newborn phase last time and I am determined not to let it beat me the second time around. The first time around you have no idea that that the madness will eventually end, and eventually - even if it's two years later - you WILL sleep again.
I am going to try my hardest to be more relaxed, and go with the flow a bit more. If routine has to go out the window for a while, so be it. If the house is messy so what, as long as my family is fed and happy that is all that matters. The pressure that we put on ourselves as Mother's is unbelievable. We feel we must get back into shape, look our best, have our house sparkling and not show any weaknesses.
I call bullshit on this, I tried to live this crazy mantra the first time around, and I refuse to do it again. I want to take in every moment both the good and the bad because it is the final time that I will be pregnant or have another baby. I regret a lot of things, the first time around and I don't want to make these mistake again - because before I know it my kids won't be little anymore and this beautiful chapter of my life will be closed.